Summer Girl

I never in a million years thought the summer before college would come this quickly. I guess it's because I've literally spent the last year counting down the days until ICDC, instead of graduation, that I didn't realize how soon everything would come. But here we are.

Prom has come and gone. It was a crazy, fun filled night. A little bit overhyped (I spent WAY too much on my dress...which, by the way, is for sale here), but I had a ton of fun at Project Celebration, the after prom, no drugs/alcohol school-sanctioned event. But hey, I won a laundry basket full of basics for college, and spent the night with some of my best friends and people I hadn't really seen all year. Over all, it was a night well spent.

Pictured with Le Boyfriend, Le Best friend, and Le Best friend's Date

Flashing the DECA Diamond with my DECA Little Sister, Jamie!

It didn't really hit me that I was graduating until I was literally walking on stage and being bombarded with hugs from my Vice Principles, Principle and even superintendent (yes, Dr. Brown hugged me - I am as shocked as you, Birdville ISD readers). As I got my diploma from my counselor, I started tearing up and barely made it back to my seat, surrounded by the same people I'd known since 5th grade - some even longer.

Taking a moment to have a small flashback...here's a pic of me at my Kindergarten Graduation.

Me on graduation day. More excited about the DECA Diamond on my tassel than anything else.

But now that everything is over, I'm starting to make my plans for the summer, and even for the fall. At this moment, I'm focusing more on what I can accomplish before I move into Maple Hall as part of the Emerald Eagle Scholar's Program at UNT this August.

Summer To Do:

• Camp NaNoWriMo - I've been a participant in National Novel Writing Month and CampNaNoWriMo for a few years now. I've never been able to finish a complete novel in the time allotted, mostly because I have the attention span of a small puppy, but also because my life has been so crazy as of late. This July, I plan on (attempting) to finish one of the many novels I have started on my harddrive.

•    Do Some DIYin'  - The level of crafty stuff my house has in it is probably five times the average most super crafty moms have. My mother has always been really into art and things like that, but due to things like my senior scrapbook, and our recent cash crunch experienced in my household, I've been forced to DIY a lot of things. I have realized, most shockingly to me, that I actually LIKE crafting. So here's to a summer of glitter, glue and my little Dirt Devil to pick up the aftermath.

•    Become a Literary Ingenue Again - I used to spend all day reading in middle school, but since I started high schoolI haven't really had time to actually sit down and finish anything really. This summer, I want to finish a lot of books. That will most likely happen, because Le Boyfriend will spend the majority of summer smashing his keyboard and killing dragons (IE: WOW).

•    Spend Time with my Friends - Because of all the crazyness this year, I have spent very little time with both my best friends, and those I am not that close to but would still like to spend time with. My goal this summer is to make more time for my friends in this mess I call my life, in between my summer class and orientation and getting ready for UNT.

•    Explore my Home - One of the things I am finding is that the more and more I explore Texas the more I realize I haven't seen. I still want to find my way around Austin, San Antonio, even Dallas or Fort Worth, which seem so far away but are so close. I want to go to more museums, take more walks downtown, eat at more dives and find more places that no one has heard of.

•    Better Myself - If there is anything I've forgotten this year, it's that sometimes I need to take a moment to relax and take care of myself. Because of previous medical issues, when I get stressed my body literally goes into meltdown mode and tries to make me sleep the majority of the day. If I don't sleep, I get physically sick. So this summer, I want to take the time to relax. Have self spa days, give myself a manicure, maybe a scalp massage or two. Sometimes, I just have to remember that I need a little pampering too.

Check out my summer to do list on Pinterest:

This summer is going to be (hopefully) one to remember; one more step on the unevenly paved road to my future.

Let's see where this ride takes us.

The Butterfly

"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty." - Maya Angelou

Before I joined DECA, I really had no idea what I wanted to do in life. I was perfectly content graduating high school and becoming a chef or something similar, continuing life on only a high school diploma. I walked around in America's Next Top Model sweatpants and Birdville t-shirts, and had no further hopes for myself. Then, when my high school career began, I realized just how much image can change how people think about you. Sad but true, the way you look can be the difference between popular and unpopular. It can mean you're beat up every day, like I was, or revered as the prettiest girl in school. 

Best picture to show the length of my extensions
(at one of my favorite spots in Disneyland while in CA for ICDC)

When I was little, I would look at girls in magazines with long shiny hair and tall, slim bodies and think that it was the picture of perfection. As a child model, I bleached my hair blonde for years, to the point where, now, I have a slight keratin deficiency. This means my hair and nails don't grow at a normal rate, and they both break and look fried frequently. 

So, since my sophomore year, I have been wearing hair extensions. Most people at school know I have them, because they witnessed my transformation years ago from a chubby, brace faced freshman to the 5'8, long haired, still socially awkward girl I am today. However, the majority of the people in DECA, and at the BCTAL, and those who haven't known me since Freshman year, do not know about the changes I have gone through over the last three years to be the person I am today.

Visiting Las Vegas my Freshman year with Mom.

I can clearly remember the day I truly realized how much image mattered; the girl I considered my best friend starting high school sent me a laundry list of things I needed to change about myself before I would be "forgiven" (for what, I still don't know) and allowed to be a part of her group again. It hit me like a ton of bricks, realizing how truly mean people, specifically girls, could be.

So for the next three years, as I learned everything I could about leadership, social media, networking and more, I spent my extra energy basically changing my whole persona. Within a period of a year, I'd lost 30 pounds, had my braces taken off, got my extensions. I went from the overbearing, loud mouthed, busy body in the back of the room that the majority of people in my grade refused to be seen with to a more reserved, professional, well dressed student leader, being told I would one day lead the country (imagine the size of my ego as I decided to run for National Office). But I realized, during this time, that I was destined for greater things, besides becoming a chef. I found out my passion, my strengths, where I wanted to go to school. I gained my purpose, because of my transformation.

My hair recently without extensions.

Sometimes, I look back and wonder if it was all worth it. If I'd stayed the person I was back then, who would I be? If I hadn't spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars of my parents money on hair, tanning, makeup and clothing, what would I look like? If I hadn't worked on controlling my tongue, becoming a better leader, would I have all the friends I have today? These are all questions I can't answer. I don't know what I'd look like, who I'd be, who I have in my life. 

For now, the best I can hope for is going back to the basics. As graduation nears, college approaches, and sleep is becoming more and more precious, I'm beginning to realize that spending an hour and a half to get ready every morning may not be the best of plans. So I'm simplifying my routine, going back to short, natural hair and less makeup. I've stopped tanning, stopped worrying about loosing weight. For now, I just want to be me. I want to just BE  the person I've become, instead of trying to continue evolving into someone else.

Today, I'm just Holly. Not Officer Holly. Not Leader Holly. Not fashionista Holly.

Just. Holly.

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The Rest is Still Unwritten

I never really understood what Natasha Bedingfield's "Unwritten" meant until this week. After a year of dedicating myself 24/7 to a single entity known as DECA, I realized this week that I'm staring at the back end of only a few chapters of my life, with so many more blank pages to go.

Last October, I attended the Texas DECA State Board meeting to gain approval to run for National DECA President. Over the summer, after watching our former State President, Jordan, serve members in his title of Southern Region Vice President, I decided I wanted to give back to an organization that has given me so many opportunities over the last 3 years. And, by the grace of God, I was approved.

National DECA is presided over by five national officers - President, and four regional Vice Presidents - as well as DECA Inc., the adult staff in Reston, Virginia. Originally, I considered running for SRVP, like Jordan. But then I realized something - I had the strengths it took to be National President. As a Chapter and State Officer, I was already advocating to law makers, speaking publicly about what amazing work DECA does, and working with Association Officers from all around the world, so why shouldn't I apply those skills to help the National level of an organization that has given me so much?

Fast forward a few months, and my platform, "Create Connections" was coined. I had my basic outline, my plans, and I knew what I wanted to giveaway. As a delegate at ICDC 2012, I knew how much useless stuff I got that gave me absolutely no information about the candidates other than that they could smile for a camera. Around Christmas break, I really began to examine my motives as to why I wanted to run for National Office. What could I do for the organization? Why should delegates vote for me, as opposed to the other (6, I discovered) candidates? All of the answers to these questions raced through my head as myself and my team prepared for State in February. 

Myself and my team (VP Scott, President Kate, Sgt. Caleb) with CEO of Tri Leadership Resources and one of my heroes, Ryan Underwood.

One of my favorite pictures from state - with our former State President and Southern Region Vice President (National Officer) Jordan (Jay) Robinson, who also happens to be one of my best friends.

State was the kick off point. My time as a State Officer was coming to an end, and I bawled with my team backstage as we said our final farewells to an association that has pretty much been our lives for the last year. Before then, it didn't feel real. Telling people "Oh, yeah, I'm running for National Office" didn't seem signifigant until there were meer weeks left. Then, I went into panic mode. It didn't really hit me until the week after SCDC, when I was taking my officer exam and sending off my application, that this was it. This is what I'd been preparing for since last summer.

I flew out to Orange County a few days before my team with my mom, and we stayed in Huntington Beach, right on the water.

I firmly believe in always traveling looking presentable. The better you look, the better you get treated.

The Saturday I left was also my 6 month-aversary with The Boy, Adam.

We were able to do all the things that everyone else wanted to do on the trip, before my teammates and chapter members got out to LA.

Chillin with my homegirl Merida at Disneyland

I got the weirdest looks for wearing these around the park. I mean the glasses. Not the pants.

After spending the morning at Disney, we spend the afternoon at the beach!

But when my team got in town, the real work started. Wednesday, I went in for my candidate interview with the nominating committee. I could not schedule caucus (meetings with the voting delegates from each state) appointments until I was announced as an "official candidate" that afternoon, following my interview. As soon as 3 PM hit and I was official, we were scheduling caucuses and driving from hotel to hotel to meet with each delegation.

Three days, ten hours of combined sleep and 48 (yes, 48, a record I tied for with another candidate, Ryan Mayfield) caucuses later, I finally sat down with the rest of my running mates for the voting session Saturday morning.

If there is one thing I can say about DECA members, it's that no matter whether we're competing against each other, trying to win something, or just hanging out, we are all incredibly supportive of each other. So when we exited the voting session so the delegates could cast their votes, it was one more reassurance that I was in the right organization when every candidate, for every office, all huddled up and repeatedly screamed "DECA LOVE" at the top of our lungs. I kid you not.

If those delegates had seen the amount of love the 20 of us had for each other, they would have cried.

The one piece of advice Morgan Thompson, the 2012-2013 National DECA President, offered us at orientation was that once the voting session was over, we needed to begin mentally preparing ourselves to loose. However morbid this may sound, I think in the end it better prepared me for the final outcome of the election. I started thinking of what I would do if I loose - what my plans would be for the summer, for next year. Florida with The Boy. Getting a part time job. Finishing my novel. UNT in the fall with SRVP Jordan. Didn't sound to bad for me. So when I sat down at the Grande Awards Session Saturday night, I was prepared for whatever the outcome - whether they called my name or not, I knew what I was going to do.

When the end of the awards session came, and the current National Officers began to give their farewell speeches, I literally thought my heart was going to rip out of my chest. With my mom sitting on one side, and Caleb, my campaign manager, sitting on the other, I felt surrounded by people I cared about, but I was still totally nervous.

Let's just take a moment to appreciate this friendship. Sgt. Caleb and Reporter Holly, best duo DECA has ever seen!

One by one, the positions were announced. Western Region, Trevor Dickerson. Southern Region, Lexy Parsons. Central Region, Connor Brashear. North Atlantic Region, Jack Fenton (whom, I might add, makes this the first International Officer Team, as he is from Ontario). Finally, it was president. My heart pounding, hands shaking, I stood up, ready for anything. "And the leader you have chosen as your next National DECA President is....

Carter Christensen." 

I literally felt my heart drop. I looked at my team, and they were all shocked. I looked back at my chapter, and they were near tears. So I did the only thing I could. I clapped. I clapped, and screamed, grabbed my backpack and walked towards the throng of people in the front and hugged the new National Officers, my friends, as they filed off stage, on their way to take pictures. Looking back, I feel really bad for the voting delegates, because there were 7 incredibly qualified candidates running for National President this year, and to choose just one to lead the organization must have been a heart wrenching decision. 

I'd made the final four in a run off. I'd set records, made so many friends, and decided I was going to move in with Wisconsin DECA (who was, I have to say, one of my favorite caucuses). Sure, going back to the hotel, I cried. A lot. I'd spent the last year or so preparing for this one moment, and I'd lost. But I'd lost to someone worthy. I'd lost to someone I know, I have no doubts, will lead the organization into a more connected, more public future. 

The 2013-2014 National Officer Team

At the state meeting, I was asked to give a speech in front of the Texas Delegation in attendance. And through my sobs, I managed to tell them my DECA journey was far from being over. No one is getting rid of me that easily. In the fall, I fully intend on helping Texas DECA expand their collegiate membership, as well as continuing their efforts to build a strong Alumni sector. At UNT, if he's not to burned out on DECA, I'll work with Jordan and a few chapter members to start a new collegiate chapter.

I may have lost this round, but I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, even if we don't understand it. To me, this loss means that there are bigger and better things waiting around the corner for me. So it's time to take the next step, start a new chapter, and see what else this book that I call life has in store for me.